Dork and Doodles

Rubbish and Restart

One of these days, I will pack my bag, tell no one and spend days somewhere in East Indonesia. Get lost, then restart my life.

Sometimes, bad things might lead to great new things in ur life. In my life case, no bad things happened this far (this is a grateful news actually). Yet, I woke up every morning having a mundane day with less grateful heart. I guess the key here is be grateful with ur presence (all you are and have as per this second). But, I dont know why, I lost it.

I have a good job, paid well enough for now, and few people I dear most around me.

But yet, I feel something doesn’t add up. Feel like I dont actually belong in where I am now. Feel like everything’s fake.

Fake? Yes. I do feel some of my closest people doesn’t really like me. I’ve tried my best to be nice and likeable, but turns out that when I go missing, no one actually notice at all. Like today, it was my bday last Saturday, and no one actually wish me a happy bday back on my work place. Yet the other days, they act so much like my friends. I suppose real friends will care enough about ur bday. So… fake probably the most sane word for this situation with them. Guess true true what they say, you just cant have both. (This case) Good salary, and comfortable working environment. I was so naive that one can and should have both. I don’t know but I just wanna go somewhere far, leave my big-city dreams behind, and live happy with whatever I will get there. Or, maybe, all of this is just a rubbish to restart my mind. Good night.